Be the Resilience: Stephanie Itimi - What to do when you keep hearing 'no'

This blog has been selected from the My Moon Landing Weekend training session, Be the Resilience, and is part of a five-issue blog series sharing a small snippet of learnings from different training sessions. Be the Resilience featured talks from people who created their business to invest in others, developing incredible mentorship relationships, experiences and programmes. This session was led by Stephanie Itimi, a digital entrepreneur and PhD student exploring her interests in internet education and security.

In July 2021 we spoke to Steph about resilience. She appeared on our screens, bright and glowing at the audience, as we anticipated the learnings she would share about dealing with rejection. 

Prior to her current achievements, Steph spoke on her personal experience with rejection and how she has learnt to reframe it. Her biggest takeaways were: 

• Become open-minded about the 'No' 
• Then ‘Bounce Back from the 'No'’

Become open-minded about the 'No'
Firstly, we dealt with the 'no'. Steph helped open our mind to the many reasons we could have received a no. 

1. The timing isn’t ideal
   
   
2. It isn’t in the budget
   
   
3. It didn’t fit with their current marketing plan
   
   
4. They had a bad experience trying something similar before
   
   
5. They don’t see the value, yet. (In which case, another audience may be suitable)
   
   

Ultimately, we won’t know unless we ask, and even then it is not guaranteed that you’ll get the answer you want. So developing a wider understanding of why it was a 'no' this time is important. 

Bounce Back from the 'no'
Once you’ve made peace with hearing ‘no’, it’s time to move forward. Steph shared her succinct 'Bounce Back Cheat Sheet' with us. She emphasised how moving forward is not forgetting about the no but rather 'finding the gold in the 'nos' (not nose!) and using rejection for your advantage.' She grouped her advice into four categories and helped us troubleshoot a resilient response to each potential reason we could have received a no. 

1. The timing isn’t ideal
   Resilient Response: Ask for referrals 
   
   
2. It isn’t in their budget
   Resilient Response: Use this as a market research, ask what their budget is? 
   
   
3. It didn’t fit with their current marketing plan
   Resilient Response: Move on, it is out of your control
   
   
4. Past Experience
   Resilient Response: Present testimonials and give them an opportunity to speak to a previous customer or partner

In all four cases there is an appropriate response for navigating the ‘no’. Future opportunities often boil down to good communication, and ‘right place, right time’ encounters, so where possible consider starting a newsletter and keeping the potential customer or partner updated on the work you are doing. 

Steph concluded the session by reminding the audience on the importance of self-care, especially when going through tough moments. She reminded us to 'treat ourselves with compassion' and that rejection is proof that you are operating outside of our comfort zone - where all the magic happens. 
Take time out, and don’t let rejection define you. And above all else, protect your energy and perception of yourself at all costs. 

Those who attended Steph’s training were better equipped with the tools to handle rejection, and left with a gentle reminder that 'we are so incredibly enough' - whatever the outcome. And we must always return to that. 

​Throughout 2022, we will be running a FREE training programme to give Black women, Black LGBTQ+ people, and Black non-binary people a better financial future. To be notified when this launches, up, sign-up to our newsletter here.